Monday, September 24, 2012

Two Months Ago......

Exactly two months ago my life changed forever in a matter of seconds, literally just two seconds.  The morning I fell, and the two weeks after, I felt like all I was getting was bad news and that I would never be the same after this injury.  I felt sad, scared, worried, and confused about the future.  But now....two months after my surgery I am almost happy that this injury has happened, it has given me a new perspective on life.

I will start by saying that I do live everyday with pain, almost constant.  Every move I make involves some amount of pain.  Its not too bad, but uncomfortable and there are moments when I wish it would all go away.  However, I get stronger everyday, what bothers me in the morning many times is gone by night, at night I am very tired but that means I have been active during the day, and the pain I feel now will hopefully subside in the next months of physical therapy.  I was told today it will be 8 months before I am "healed", or as "healed" as this injury can possibly be.  But things look great and the physical therapist says I am really doing very well and seeing improvements each week.

I can now walk long distance in the boot with one crutch, short distance in the boot no crutch, and at home in a sneaker and one crutch.  These little victories are what keep me going and I am determined to get as much function as possible back in my foot.  There are moments where I wonder if I will ever make more progress, but then I remind myself of how far I have come in two weeks of therapy.  I started in a boot and both crutches and I am so close to being in a sneaker full time.

I used to only see the negative in situations and then stress about them.  I would worry worry worry and then worry some more.  I would be consumed with "what if" scenarios and then worry about things that may not even happen in the future.  Then I fell.  There is a silver lining with everything, sometimes you just have to look harder to see it.  I now see how strong I am physically, I see that I can overcome the challenges that life throws my way, I am a much stronger person emotionally than I ever believed I could be, and that staying positive really truly does work wonders.

Yes, of course there are negatives.  I have two screws in my foot that hurt like heck, I needed a scooter to get around for two months, I needed surgery and will have to have another, I have pain every day, my foot is swollen almost every second of every day, I walk funny and have to wear a crazy looking boot, and I could go on forever, but I won't.  I won't because I don't want to give the negative parts of this any attention, because what does deserve my thoughts are all the positives.

It is funny sometimes how God answers prayers.  I wonder if in some way this injury was placed in my life to teach me how to be calm, be still, be thankful, and how to find the good in every situation.  Because they are all things I was not good at before this.  But whatever the reason my scars and this injury will always be a positive memory for me of what I overcame and what I achieved.


Monday, September 17, 2012

Making Progress

7 weeks post surgery and 9 weeks post injury I am down to walking in the boot with one crutch almost full time.

Today was my second session of physical therapy.  The therapist said that most people have zero degree range of motion and I am at three degrees coming right out of the boot.  He is impressed with my range of movement and what I can do in such a short period of time.  ALL GOOD NEWS!

Given all the horror stories I have read online about these lisfranc injuries, I must say I am doing remarkably well.

This week has been the best yet!  I am walking up and down the stairs with the aid of crutches, and now that I am down to one crutch I have one hand free!  I feel so much more independence!  I felt for the longest time that this day would never come.  I feel so great, am in such good spirits, and feel so blessed to have amazing doctors to be treating me.

When I went to the doctor's office at six weeks post injury, I had no clue what to expect.  I was even more nervous visiting the pt for the first time, but all has turned out great.  I whole heartily believe that it has been the positive attitude that has made all the difference.

I can't wait for the one year anniversary where I can blog for the last time and hopefully post that I am a success story!

Started off non weight bearing on a scooter, then in the boot using two crutches, now down to the boot and one crutch!  Progress made!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I AM WALKING!!!!!

Well, I got great news!  Looks like being positive, optimistic, and listening to the doctors orders have paid off!  I am WALKING!!! 

I took my first steps in over two months today.  Exactly 6 weeks and one day after my lisfranc surgery. 

It is a crazy wierd feeling.  The doctor explained that enough time has gone by and that no more healing will occur.  Ligaments need 21 days to heal and I have given them 43.  It is as healed as its ever gonna be.  Now I will begin a month of physical thereapy and the doctor thinks I will be in sneakers and out of the moon boot in 4 weeks.  Much sooner then we originally thought!

So when the doctor left the room I picked up the crutches (my husband then took immediate advantage of the scooter) and then I pasued...........I had forgotton how to walk!  The first few movements were so scary, then I took these little tiny steps until my husband finally said, "umm you put one foot in front of the other."  Then I was like , "oh yeah!" 

Its slow going, and some steps are painful, others arent, but it feels so good to be moving again.  As the night has been progressing I can go a little faster and I am getting used to my "sea legs" for lack of a better phrase. 

I cried for 15 minutes after we left the office, I was just so happy.  There has been so much bad news that it overwhelmed me to get good news.  Sitting on the couch the day after surgery I felt like this day would never come.  But it did, God gave me the patience I needed and I pushed through.  I have never felt stronger then I do now emotionally. 

The doctor said walking with the hardware in will be painful and I am sure physically thereapy will not be pleasent.  But every pain I feel is a reminder of how strong I am, what I have gotten through, and a big reminder that I am walking again. 

I am on my way to being a success story!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 10, 2012

6 Weeks Post Surgery, 8 Weeks Post Injury

Here I sit the eve of my big doctors appointment.  Tomorrow I will be examined and it will be determined if I am allowed to begin learning how to walk again..........

I pray and hope that I have not done any damage, and that I have healed successfully.  The future of how much movement and how strong I will be from now on in unknown, and the unknown is very scary.  I have done my best to stay positive and optimistic, I hope that it has done me well.

I will stay true to my word and will be thankful for whatever my new normal becomes.  I will work hard and do exactly what my doctor and physical therapist tells me to do without missing a beat.  And...if tomorrow I am told that I need a few more weeks I will listen and be thankful regardless.

My foot looks good, less swelling each day, it doesn't turn that awful shade of purple when hanging down anymore. Now it just turns a reddish color.  I am not as sore at the end of the day, can bend and flex without much pain, and the incisions are looking good.  Physically I believe all has gone well.

Emotionally I have more good days then bad, I push through the bad and do my best to make them good again.  I am so happy to be at the end of the 6 weeks non weight bearing. It is really frustrating not being able to be independent and do all the things I am use to doing.  Thank God I have the amazing husband that I do.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared of what the doctor will tell me tomorrow, but no matter what the news I will be OK, and I will be a SUCCESS story.

Monday, September 3, 2012

5 Weeks Post Surgery, 7 Weeks Post Injury

As I typed the titled of this post reality set in on just how long it has been since I have last walked.  I am in a much better place now than I was then, but some moments of the day are still tough.

My incisions are completely healed.  Still look like Frankenstein marks, but they will be a positive reminder for me everyday of just how strong I am.  They will remind me that things can always be worse, that I overcame a challenge, and will be my motivation for the future.  I will never again take for granted walking or running.  I pray and hope I am able to run again. 

I never really believed people when they said they could feel it when it was going to rain, until yesterday.  I woke up with an ache in my foot and then it dawned on me........it was raining.  I hope this is not a sign of what is to come in the future, but I fear it might be.

Working is really tough emotionally and physically.  I have to accept a lot of help and ask for even more.  My co workers have been amazing and I am so blessed to have them in my life.  Emotionally I get really tired because I know how challenging each day is going to be, but I made it through week one, and I am hopeful that each week will be even easier.  I am amazed at how much I am able to do when I just push through it.  With this injury you must remain positive and mentally strong, there is no other way to get by.  That doesn't mean I don't have bad minutes, or even hours, but most of each day I try to be positive.  I am learning (something I often dismissed before this injury) that your mind is much stronger than the body, and if you tell yourself that you can do it and that you are strong enough, then your body follows.  I see signs of that each day.  When I first got injured I read so many posts, forums, etc and they all stated that you must be mentally strong, they were right.  All the success stories out there has one common theme, BE POSITIVE!

Physically there is not much change.  I am in my last week of non weight bearing (hopefully) I experience little to no pain, some dull aches here and there, but considering what I have dealt with its nothing.  Foot still is swollen but nothing like it was, I am just going to have to get used to the swelling.  It will turn purple if it is out of the boot and hangs down.   Otherwise it is almost back to its normal shape, no longer sore to the touch, besides over the incisions, and does not hurt when I am laying on my stomach (now I get much better sleep).

I wear the boot every day for protection, it has become my security blanket.  I use crutches to get around the house, and the knee scooter when at work or out running errands.  I don't drive, not until I can partially bear weight.  I go up the stairs on my knees, and down the stairs on my butt.  I use a bath seat in the shower (which has been so helpful), I use a folding chair to do my hair and makeup in front of the mirror, and have placed things around the house in easy reach.  Other than that I try to live normally with lots and lots of help from my husband. He still remains to be my greatest source of strength.

As I enter what will hopefully be my last week of non weight bearing I am so hopeful of what the future holds for me.  I know I will never be the same, but I am excited to continue my journey.  This injury is just now part of who I am.  In a strange way I am thankful God put this challenge in my life. It has made me realize just how strong I am, and that with my husband by my side there isn't anything we can get through.