As I typed the titled of this post reality set in on just how long it has been since I have last walked. I am in a much better place now than I was then, but some moments of the day are still tough.
My incisions are completely healed. Still look like Frankenstein marks, but they will be a positive reminder for me everyday of just how strong I am. They will remind me that things can always be worse, that I overcame a challenge, and will be my motivation for the future. I will never again take for granted walking or running. I pray and hope I am able to run again.
I never really believed people when they said they could feel it when it was going to rain, until yesterday. I woke up with an ache in my foot and then it dawned on me........it was raining. I hope this is not a sign of what is to come in the future, but I fear it might be.
Working is really tough emotionally and physically. I have to accept a lot of help and ask for even more. My co workers have been amazing and I am so blessed to have them in my life. Emotionally I get really tired because I know how challenging each day is going to be, but I made it through week one, and I am hopeful that each week will be even easier. I am amazed at how much I am able to do when I just push through it. With this injury you must remain positive and mentally strong, there is no other way to get by. That doesn't mean I don't have bad minutes, or even hours, but most of each day I try to be positive. I am learning (something I often dismissed before this injury) that your mind is much stronger than the body, and if you tell yourself that you can do it and that you are strong enough, then your body follows. I see signs of that each day. When I first got injured I read so many posts, forums, etc and they all stated that you must be mentally strong, they were right. All the success stories out there has one common theme, BE POSITIVE!
Physically there is not much change. I am in my last week of non weight bearing (hopefully) I experience little to no pain, some dull aches here and there, but considering what I have dealt with its nothing. Foot still is swollen but nothing like it was, I am just going to have to get used to the swelling. It will turn purple if it is out of the boot and hangs down. Otherwise it is almost back to its normal shape, no longer sore to the touch, besides over the incisions, and does not hurt when I am laying on my stomach (now I get much better sleep).
I wear the boot every day for protection, it has become my security blanket. I use crutches to get around the house, and the knee scooter when at work or out running errands. I don't drive, not until I can partially bear weight. I go up the stairs on my knees, and down the stairs on my butt. I use a bath seat in the shower (which has been so helpful), I use a folding chair to do my hair and makeup in front of the mirror, and have placed things around the house in easy reach. Other than that I try to live normally with lots and lots of help from my husband. He still remains to be my greatest source of strength.
As I enter what will hopefully be my last week of non weight bearing I am so hopeful of what the future holds for me. I know I will never be the same, but I am excited to continue my journey. This injury is just now part of who I am. In a strange way I am thankful God put this challenge in my life. It has made me realize just how strong I am, and that with my husband by my side there isn't anything we can get through.
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